Damn You For Leaving Me : Revised
by slytheringirl55
Summary: AU:Set during New Moon. Bella sings about her feelings after Edward leaves.


Disclaimer: Song and Twilight characters aren't mine. The song is Damn You by Hanna Pakarinen. All characters from Twilight / New Moon / Eclipse belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing but the plot.

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I could feel my blood burning in my skin and my face growing hotter and hotter from embarrassment. I could hardly breathe as I clutched the microphone in my trembling hands.

I was standing on a platform in the gym in front of the whole student body of Forks High participating in the annual talent show. Angela had somehow convinced me to try out and much to my dismay I'd made it.

After Ed…_he_…left…I'd died slowly on the inside. I did only the necessary to survive. I would hardly eat anything, I would spend most of the day asleep if I wasn't in school or at work, and I hardly spoke to anyone.

The only time I spoke to anyone was when I was asked a direct question, and even then my answers were short and simple. I was nearly catatonic.

I did nothing that would remind me of _them, _of _him_. I got rid of all of my CDs because they reminded me too much of _him_. Everything reminded me of _them,_ including my teddy bears, which ironically reminded me of Emmett.

As time progressed, I slowly started to grow out of my protective shell. I started hanging out with my friends again. Jacob, Angela, Jessica, and Mike and other people I'd talked to before _they_ left helped me come back to life, somewhat. However, the hole that _he_ left in my heart could be repaired by anyone but _him._

As the music started, my breathing stopped for a second. This song was all about _him_, or rather a song about how I felt during those months after _he'd_ left. I took a deep calming breath and began to sing.

_I'm caught in the rain _

_And the air is so cold_

'_Cause you're not coming back_

_The winter is stuck in my soul_

My voice nearly broke. I fought to keep the tears that I knew would come because they did every time I heard this song. Flashbacks from the night _he_ left flashed before my eyes as I forced myself not to cry.

You made me believe 

_How you made me complete_

_I'm so empty inside without you_

_Existing but barely alive_

I looked at Angela as she realized what this song was about. She looked like she was about to cry. Jessica looked at me with pity in her eyes when I sang the last line. The past four months of my … existence fresh in everyone's mind. I put all the pain and sorrow I'd felt during those months into my voice as I sang the next part of the song.

So damn you for leaving me 

_Damn you mortality_

_I'm so totally weak_

_I can't even breathe_

_I miss you – it's killing me_

_Damn you_

_For leaving me_

By now, most of the student body understood the meaning behind the song and everyone including the teachers and administration was looking at me with pity in their eyes. I nearly laughed at the part about mortality. That had been one of the main reasons _he'd _left me. I was a weak, pathetic human.

I thought we were safe 

_Protected by faith_

_When reality strikes_

_It cut you away from my life_

_Save me – help me survive _

_I'm so empty inside_

These lines nearly made me choke from emotion. I pushed all of the memories of us together back into my subconscious and continued singing as a tear slowly rolled down my cheek.

_Damn you for leaving me _

_Damn you mortality_

_ I'm so totally weak _

_I can't even breath _

_I miss you – it's killing me _

_Damn you deceiving me _

_Damn you my destiny _

_I'm so torn incomplete _

_So damn you_

By now, most of the student body, including some of the teachers had tears running down their faces as I fought to regain control of my emotions and not break down before I finished my song.

_Late at night when you haunt me _

_Take me with you, release me _

_From this pain _

_From going insane_

I looked towards the chair where my father sat and I could see the tears in his eyes. I remembered all of those sleepless nights that he spent in my room, keeping me from going insane because of my nightmares and my memories of him and I smiled slightly as he nodded towards me. He brought up a big hand and wiped angrily at his face, embarrassed to be crying in front of the rest of the town. Big, tough police Chief Swan crying because of a song, could you believe it?

_So damn you for leaving me_

_Damn you mortality_

_I'm so totally weak_

_I can't even breathe_

_I miss you – it's killing me_

_Damn you for leaving me_

I finished my song with tears streaming down my face. It was quiet as I reached up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. All of a sudden, one by one, everyone in the gym began clapping but I couldn't hear anything. My eyes were fixed on the gym door that had opened when I was dabbing at my eyes.

There, standing in the dim light of twilight stood Edward and the rest of the Cullens.


End file.
